James P. Othmer, author of The Futurist (a novel I loved & picked as one of my “Notables” for waaaaay back in 2006. Please note: this was the fifth post on the Book Catapult, so don’t expect great writing. Well, don’t expect that ever, really, but especially in 2006) and the brand new Adland: Searching For the Meaning of Life on a Branded Planet, has a brilliant, bitingly hilarious op-ed piece in the September 14 issue of Publisher’s Weekly entitled E-Structions: Suggested Protocol For My E-Book Signing.
“A few e-signing Don’ts: because time is limited, we ask that you please Don’t make small talk when it is your turn at the e-table. Don’t ask about sales, the weight of the author, the incident with the reviewer in Yakima, the death of the independent bookstore, the death of print or of any person, place or industry that is dead or likely to soon die.
Making eye contact with the author, while impossible, is discouraged nonetheless. It is recommended during your allotted 11 seconds that you fix your eyes somewhere between the tops of your Crocs and the undone belt on your terry cloth robe.”