The Book Catapult

117 Days of James Patterson – Day Nineteen

Day Nineteen, Chapter Nineteen
Man, I really need to take this thing one day at a time – thinking about how much more of my life will be wasted on writing about this crap is going to kill me. Still, what was I thinking?

Does anyone care about plot points? I don’t think I do. And if you do, The 9th Judgment by James Patterson is available at fine independent bookstores everywhere. Or in your local Walmart. Go get your own copy.

Business:  Apparently, Claire Washburn, forensic pathologist and member of the Women’s Murder Club, is overweight – Patterson seemingly has a problem with that fact, as he offers this critical assessment, rather than just mentioning it in passing:

She was wearing a floral shower cap and an apron over her XXL scrubs – still carrying some poundage from her pregnancy on her size-sixteen frame.

Hell man, you made this character up, you don’t have to give her such a hard time. Put her on a frickin’ diet if you don’t like it. Really, a floral showercap?

I like this description of a photo that Claire has on her desk of the Women’s Murder Club in all their glory:

There was Yuki, all suited up, her dark hair parted in the middle, falling in two glossy wings to her chin; Cindy was grinning, her slightly overlapping front teeth drawing attention to how pretty she really is; and then there was Claire, buxom and beautiful in her midforties.

And there was I, towering over them all at five ten, wearing my blond hair in a ponytail and sporting a dead-serious look on my face. The thing is, I think of myself as lighthearted. I wonder where I got that idea.

I think that’s a fairly perfect example of what the writing is like in a Patterson novel. He holds your hand – rather tightly – as he walks you through his descriptive prose, one foot in front of the other, stifling all imagination. I suppose that’s what readers want in one of his books – to be swept along, away from reality, someone telling you every detail of another life so that you don’t have to think about your own. As an admitted book snob, I want a little more out of the books I read – if it’s this obvious that not much effort has gone into the crafting of sentences, why should I bother? If you don’t bother, as the author, why should I?

Answer: because I had the brilliant idea to read each of the 117 chapters in this book, one day at a time & write about it and now I’m trapped in this endless project for the rest of the spring and summer. Idiot.
Go to Day Twenty.

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2 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Nineteen

  1. aaryn b.
    May 17, 2010

    ” If you don't bother, as the author, why should I?” Exaaaactly.

    Seth, there are always dark days during projects like these. You've just had nineteen of them. You know…you really don't have to do this. You can quit. Seriously. It doesn't mean you're a failure.

    But if you do keep going, would you do me a favor? Please, PLEASE don't post any more side-lit, I'm-so-contemplative-and-important pictures of Patterson. He's skeevy.

  2. Seth Marko
    May 17, 2010

    I'm not quitting, I just had a shitty morning. I can't let this crap defeat me.

    Just for you, Aaryn, I'm going to do my best to include skeevy pics of JP in every post for the next month. Mwahahahahaha!

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This entry was posted on May 17, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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