The Book Catapult

117 Days of James Patterson – Day Twenty-One

Day Twenty-One, Chapter Twenty-One
The children have spoken. Patterson has been named Author of the Year by the Children’s Book Council – as voted on by thousands of kids. When I woke up this morning, I believed the children were our future…

Jamespatterson.com: “Awards were based on fan voting, so, as you can see, James was pretty proud!”

Marcus Dowling opened his door and showed us to a sitting room decorated to the hilt with English-style roll-arm sofas, Flow Blue platters on the walls, and Foo dogs on the mantel. Mayfair meets the City on the Bay.

Where did all of those references come from? I bet James has a room in his own 20,000 square foot house that’s decorated exactly like that. (By the way, Wikipedia says that the “Foo dog” is “an ancient and rare breed of dog. It is not to be confused with the Chow Chow or Pekingese.”)

Conklin…is a sensational good cop to my badass bitch…

If you have to call yourself a “badass bitch”, you’re probably not a “badass bitch”. Prove it Lindsay! Show me somethin’! Anything! So far your partner’s done all the work here.

“Mr. Dowling, when was the last time you had intimate relations with your wife?”

Yeah! That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Get right in his face, girl!

“Someone had sex with your wife.”

Alright, chill out. You don’t have to be such a badass bitch about it.

“Casey had sex with me!” Dowling shouted.

Mystery solved! Good work, detective.

“I took everything in the clothes hamper and whatever was on the hook behind the bathroom door,” Conklin said as we walked out to the car.

Uh, okay.


On a side note, this project has taken a little flak on another site – nothing major, just some criticism about my mission statement. Becky from RA For All feels that I am never going to understand the appeal of Patterson by reading his book at my current pace, as pacing is actually part of his appeal. Fair enough, I suppose, if you really wanted to take this thing that seriously. I don’t. Becky considers Patterson novels as welcome diversions, escapes – not unlike watching bad television programs. How is this a positive thing? How is this, in any way, furthering us as a literate society? Just watch TV instead. “Unlike Marko I am not judging why people love to read him when quite frankly, his books would not win any literary prizes…I would ask Marko to rethink his agenda. Taking 117 days to read a book that should take even a busy person 2 days misses the main appeal factor of the book. He will never understand why people love Patterson until he stays up all night reading one cover-to-cover.” 

See you tomorrow.

Go to Day 22.

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7 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Twenty-One

  1. Naomi Johnson
    May 19, 2010

    Huh. I read one in two hours and didn't see the appeal. I was just glad the torture was over.

  2. aaryn b.
    May 19, 2010

    Did I ever mention that, during my workshop this past spring, Jim Shepard pondered aloud whether it really is a good thing that America is reading, when what America is reading is so dreadfully awful(my paraphrasing, of course)?

    It's one thing for children to like James Patterson. It's another for grown adults to not only like him, but to defend him. This particular tome almost makes me support book burning. Certainly I think that picture up there should be held over a flame. Icky.

  3. Seth Marko
    May 19, 2010

    Well, as you can see, James was pretty proud!

  4. Anonymous
    May 20, 2010

    It's me again — I know Becky – and her intentions are good…from an “appeal” perspective with patrons. We can't all like/hate the same authors…just sayin'

    The CHILDREN voted??? There is no doubt in my mind they thought they were voting for Pattinson – you know, from “Twilight” – not PATTERSON…wanna bet on this one? I know I'm right…kids do not know Patterson!

  5. Anonymous
    May 20, 2010

    read your profile, remember the Ithaca bakery? yea, well my son works there! small world, he loves Ithaca. I'm actually in Rochester, NY, keep up the good work I'm LMAO at this. Mary

  6. Marie
    May 21, 2010

    Just watch tv instead? That doesn't really make much sense. Not sure how watching tv helps society become more literate. Reading Patterson, on the other hand, could be considered a gateway drug to better books for some people. Maybe. 😉 Works sometimes for kids with Goosebumps and that sort of book, anyhow.

    Anon #1, Patterson's Maximum Ride teen series is very popular with the kids. Flying kids, living on their own, in peril, genetically engineered so they have wings.

  7. Seth Marko
    May 22, 2010

    My point, Marie, was not to encourage people to watch more television – I was just equating the reading of a James Patterson novel to watching a bad TV show.

    And Mary, I totally remember the Ithaca Bakery! It is an awesomely small world sometimes, yes.

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This entry was posted on May 19, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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