The Book Catapult

117 Days of James Patterson – Day Twenty-Three

Day 23, Chapter 23
A 9th Judgment haiku for your Friday morning:

Yuki left alone
a good day in court
spicy crab celebration

There are so many choice lines in this little chapter, it’s hard to know where to begin. Seriously, you’re going to think I’m making this up. Try this dialogue on for size – Yuki is now alone in the tiki bar (or whatever it is) and approaches the bartender in his “wild-printed shirt”:

“Miles?”
“That’s my name, he told her. “Wait. I’ve seen you before. You and your friends – beer and margaritas, right?”
“I’m Yuki Castellano,” she said, shaking his hand. “What do you drink to celebrate a good day in court?”
“You beat a traffic ticket?”
Yuki laughed.
“Do that again,” Miles said. “I think the sun just came out.”

This is what Hachette gets for $150 million (the estimated payout for JPatt in his latest contract.) I guess if he earns your company $500 million in revenues – over the last two years – you don’t really care about what sort of swill he churns out. 

Anyway, Yuki orders a “spicy crab salad” and a glass of champagne from Miles and tells him all about her day in court – which, it turns out, went very well for Yuki, who’s had multiple losses in the courtroom.

“So it’s terrific that you won.”
“Yeah. I’ve been at this a couple of years. I’ve had a lot of losses.”

Need a lawyer, Miles? Yuki then complains about the “stone in her shoe” of a defense attorney she faced in the trial. On the way out of the courtroom, he had told her, “Congratulations on your win, Yuki. What is that? One in a row?” Hahahaha! Good one.

“He’s a sore loser,” the bartender said. “You hurt him, Yuki. Definitely. Guess what? Your champagne’s on the house.”
“Thanks, Miles. Yeah. You’re right. He’s a sore loser.”
“Bartenders never lie,” Miles said.
Yuki laughed.
“Here comes the sun,” he said.

Good night everybody.
Go to Day 24.

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4 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Twenty-Three

  1. Amy
    May 21, 2010

    OK, first, I have to say that this is hilarious. I admire your dedication (and courage), I certainly wouldn't be able to do it.

    Second, I am sad that I caught up because now I have to wait!

  2. Cécile
    May 22, 2010

    Hello !

    I came over thanks to Aaryn plugging you at the Women's Colony, and I must say I don't regret it ! I don't think I've ever read a book by him… and that too is no regret.

    I enjoy your posts, even though I've got a little trouble keeping all the characters straight… Good luck to you ! Your quest is a worthy one !

  3. aaryn b.
    May 25, 2010

    Haiku:

    JPatt prolly wears
    Costco floral shirts, black socks
    While masturbating.

    And, too:

    Jimmy Buffet plays
    “Volcano” and…well, you can
    Imagine the rest.

  4. Seth Marko
    May 26, 2010

    I'm super-proud of that haiku joke! Glad to see you're embracing it, A.

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This entry was posted on May 21, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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