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117 Days of James Patterson – Day Twenty-Four

Day 24, Chapter 24

Cindy’s blouse was a cloud of silk chiffon in the rear foot well of Rich Conklin’s car. Her skirt was rolled up to her waist, and her panty hose dangled from one foot. She was damned uncomfortable, but she wouldn’t change a thing.

Chapter Twenty-Four is a parked car, alleyway sex scene between Cindy and Conklin and while it’s bad, it’s not that bad. Check out the Literary Review’s annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award for truly bad. (Most of the LR’s victims are well respected literary authors who just can’t seem to get certain things right – John Updike received a lifetime achievement award in 2008, for example.)  For Patterson, a quickie in the backseat of a car fits right into his formula of fast paced, poorly constructed short chapters with sprinklings of violence and inane internal monologues. Its like late-night Cinemax. He even wrote (well, co-wrote) a book called The Quickie in 2007 – this is a man who knows his way around the gearshift, if you know what I mean.

“You are so witchy, Cin, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.”

Right.  How do you “review” a chapter like this?

She slid up and away from him, and he put his hands around her waist and pulled her down on him, hard.

“You drive me crazy, Cin.”

Cindy closes things out by asking Conklin if he’s ever “done it” with his partner, Lindsay. I mean, she’s still sitting on top of him – awkward.  I suppose I’m supposed to care that his denial is a little vague, but I don’t. Do whatever (or whoever) you want, dude, let’s just move on, hard.
Go to Day 25.

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3 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Twenty-Four

  1. Todd Ritter
    May 22, 2010

    I'm a bit late to this party, but damn this is good stuff. Patterson has confounded me for years. My mom loves him and buys his annual fifteen novels. I read one of them in a night while visiting a few years back. Something about human “vampires” and a tiger and incestuous twins. I felt very dirty the next morning.

  2. Amy
    May 22, 2010

    Oh my. From the descriptions of Conklin he really didn't sound all that attractive, I don't understand her attraction to him, but I guess it's all whatever Paterson wants right? 😛 lol

  3. aaryn b.
    May 25, 2010

    Nothing screams hot back-seat-of-the-car sex like a pair of panty hose.

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This entry was posted on May 22, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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