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117 Days of James Patterson – Day Twenty-Seven

Day 27, Chapter 27
Part Two: Showtime
Sarah Wells, aka: Hello Kitty the Cat Burgler, is cooking chicken-fried steak for her husband, Trevor, while watching Marcus Dowling lie about the death of his wife on a television talk show. Who cares about Marcus Dowling – Trevor is turning out to be a classic of modern American literature – check this out:

Trevor came into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and bent to take out a beer, his girth falling over the waistband of his underwear. He popped the top, took a swig of Bud, then walked behind his wife and grabbed her ass.

“Hey,” she said, moving out of his reach.
“What’s with you?”
“Here,” she said, handing him the tongs. “Take over, okay?”
“Where’re you going?”
“I’ve had a tough day, Trev.”
“You ought to see a doctor, you know.”
“Shut up.”
“Because you’re on the rag all the time.”

Wow. Got a nice visual image of Trevor in your head now? Tighty-whiteys, enormous stomach, swigging Budweiser, verbally abusive. (I’ve provided a picture, in case you missed it.) Trevor finishes cooking the steak for himself & serves Sarah a bowl of Cheerios. Sarah apologizes for “snapping” at him. Trevor proposes that they have sexual relations later. Scene.
I can see why Part Two is called “Showtime”.

In an unrelated story…it’s Towel Day today – in honor of the late Douglas Adams, author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide the the Galaxy, fans carry their towels with them at all times.  “A towel…is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.”  I, for one, use my towel to wipe the tears from my face after reading my daily installment of JPatt. Or to stuff in my mouth to keep from screaming.
Go to Day 28.

3 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Twenty-Seven

  1. Amy
    May 25, 2010

    Something tells me you might be screaming and crying after reading that. I am starting to see that Patterson really doesn't think all too highly of females, perhaps? He gives them all crappy husbands?

  2. aaryn b.
    May 25, 2010

    Trevor is a frat-boy name. Not the name of a tush-smackin, Bud-drinking oaf with waistband girth. Garth would be more apropos. Garth, with the girth. Right?

    I'm not reading this any more unless I have my towel with me. Thanks for the suggestion.

  3. Seth Marko
    May 26, 2010

    C'mon, nothin' on the hilarious sumo picture? Check out that intensity! That's Trevor, yo, concentrating on grabbing a beer from the fridge!

    God, that's funny.

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This entry was posted on May 25, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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