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117 Days of James Patterson – Day Thirty-Seven

Day 37, Chapter 37
For fun this morning, I Googled “WCF” and found that it alternately stands for “Windows Communication Foundation”, “Women’s Campaign Forum”, “World Championship Fighting”, “World Car Fans”, “World Curling Foundation”, “Waterloo-Cedar Falls (Courier)”, and the “World Cocoa Foundation.”  Just thought you’d like to know.

In between chapters, the Homicide squad has given the killer a name: the Lipstick Killer.  I understand that there’s no way that something so trivial could have made it’s way into a full chapter…but it would have been great to see the squad debating the name selections. “Baby Killer” or “Mommy Killer” or “Mommy & Baby Killer” or “Murderer Who Writes Stuff with Lipstick” or “The Crazy Soldier” or “WTF, WCF?”.  Nope, these idiots chose “Lipstick Killer” – a nickname already assigned to a real serial killer, by the way.  (FunFact! William Heirens is currently the longest serving inmate in the United States – in jail for the last 63 years.)

There is actually a funny scene at the start of this chapter in which Claire receives the FBI ballistics report, but waits to open it while talking on the phone.  This makes Lindsay crazy as she looks on in anticipation. Then the characters begin to speak and it all goes downhill.  Keep in mind that Claire Washburn is African-American.

(Claire) skimmed the page and said, “Hey-hey. Our case was reviewed by Dr. Mike himself.”

“Forgive my ignorance – and will you please give me the damned report?”

“Hang on, girlfriend. Dr. Michael Sciarra is the FBI’s Dr. Gun,” she said. “Okay. Lemme get to the nub here. Dr. Mike says the gunpowder stippling on those dead babies was atypical because the shots were fired through a suppressor. And not your basic pop-bottle-and-scouring-pad wackadoo, either.”

So all this time, they’ve been wondering why no witnesses had heard any shots fired and it took an FBI ballistics report to tell them that the gun had a silencer on it?  Are you kidding me?  Granted, it seems to be a rare type of silencer, but still.  Then, Jacobi calls:

“Boxer, that goddamned, shit-for-brains Lipstick Psycho put on another freakin’ horror show!” Jacobi shouted into my ear.

“No, c’mon, NO.”

YES.  Lindsay briefs Claire and runs to meet Conklin in the back parking lot.  Considering how short these chapters are and how little happens within them, please observe this lengthy description:

I hung up with Jacobi, briefed Claire, and got Conklin on the line, then fled to the parking lot behind the Hall. Conklin was waiting for me in the driver’s seat of our squad car, and as soon as I slammed my door closed, he jammed on the gas and we peeled out with flashers on, siren blaring, rubber burning tracks into the asphalt.

That’s 64 words – remember how many words are in some of these chapters. (361 in Chapter 14 for example.)  OK, now for the build-up before the commercial break:

Conklin shouted over the clamor, “He does this smack in the middle of town. What a pair this guy has.”

“Smack in the middle of town is what he likes. He’s a terrorist. A damned good one.”

I had no idea how right I would turn out to be.

Hang on girlfriend, he does smack in the middle of town?  What does that have to do with anything?  And I thought there was no such thing as a good terrorist.  So confusing.  What’s a “pop-bottle-and-scouring-pad wackadoo” anyway?
Go to Day 38.

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5 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Thirty-Seven

  1. Amy
    June 4, 2010

    Hmm… Lipstick Killer. Clever… but did you really expect characters in a Patterson novel to think of something themselves?

  2. Anonymous
    June 5, 2010

    I think the part about “smack” means 'in the middle of town' – NOT doing smack, per se….

  3. aaryn b.
    June 5, 2010

    Hasn't it been a while since we had a good lesbian sex scene?

  4. Seth Marko
    June 6, 2010

    Uh, thank you, Anonymous. I am humbled by your insight.

  5. Nate
    June 11, 2010

    So he kills tubes of lipstick?

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This entry was posted on June 4, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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