The Book Catapult

117 Days of James Patterson – Day Forty-One

Day 41, Chapter 41
Feeling a little punch drunk on ol’ JPatt today – my girl Claire the Coroner showed up in today’s chapter, keepin’ it real.  And you know what?  It’s been far too long since a lady had any contact with another lady in this book.

Claire was stowing her camera by the time I made it back up to the fourth tier. She looked into my face, and I saw my own horror reflected in hers. We opened our arms and held onto each other, and this time I didn’t care who thought I was weak.

Not exactly what I had in mind, but good enough for now.  Hug it out.

“It’s not going to be all right,” Claire said into my shoulder.

C’mon Claire, where’s the feisty, syntax-impaired, plus-sized woman I fell in love with?  Let’s bring in Charlie Clapper, director of the Crime Scene Unit, famous for his sexist remarks in Chapter 11.  Perhaps he can shed some soulful light on this scene.

...Clapper’s crime scene-mobile steamed up the rise and stopped beside the ME’s van. CSIs poured out of the back, and Clapper stood over the sickening tableau and said to no one in particular, “Makes you wonder if the Good Lord has just given up on humanity.”

I’d love to just leave it there, I really would, but there was a little bit of plot at the very end: the killer – who has been mixing things up with his signature (WCF, CWF, FWC) – finally made that potential mistake that could lead to his downfall.  He passed on using lipstick to write his signature at the scene – he was actually stupid enough to write “CWF” on the windshield in the victim’s blood with his own finger.  Ridiculous.  Patterson has spent so little time developing his cop characters, that they can’t solve any crimes on their own – they actually have to wait for the criminals to make idiotic, out of character mistakes like leaving their fingerprints smeared all over the crime scene.  These are the same cops that gave the murdered babies shit for not being good enough witnesses to be worth killing, so I guess it’s no real surprise.  (See Chapter 36.)  I’d read that book, actually – Sexy Cop Babies by James Patterson.  Oh my God, I’ve gone beyond insane.  I’ve gone crazy.
Go to Day 42.

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4 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Forty-One

  1. Amy
    June 8, 2010

    You know what I don't understand? I mean, not to sound all heartless and cruel here, but women and children are killed all the time. As cops in what sounds to be a fairly large sized city shouldn't they have come across a dead woman and baby before? Yet from the very first crime scene it was the HUGEST, WORST, most CATASTROPHIC thing ever. I mean, yes, sad and tragic and all, but get on with it and do your job already?!

  2. Seth Marko
    June 8, 2010

    Thank you, Amy!!! Seriously, they all act as if these are the first horrific crime scenes they've ever seen – it's absurd. Just do your frickin' jobs, you're wearing me out.

  3. Nate
    June 11, 2010

    Yikes, looks like my previous comment's been addressed. Oh, well.

  4. Reggie Style
    June 14, 2010

    The description of Clapper's Steam powered crime scene mobile is pretty compelling. It sounds like an old time travelling medicine show. I'm surprised a troupe of french mimes didn't jump out of the back.

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This entry was posted on June 8, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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