The Book Catapult

117 Days of James Patterson – Day Sixty-Two

Day 62, Chapter 62

“You’re quiet, Princess,” said the voice in my ear.

“What do you want me to say?”

Yeah, man, what the hell?  It’s been 62 frickin’ days of this nonsense and now you’re calling me “princess”?  I’m gonna punch your face if I ever get the chance, WCF.  Are you not entertained?! 

“No, you’re right. Don’t think too much. Just execute the mission.”

Oh, I’ll execute the mission, all right, buddy.  And I guarantee you, I won’t be thinking too much.
My god, what has happened to me?  Now the book is talking directly at me.  I’m still not as crazy as Lindsay, thankfully:

If I saw his face and lived, I would quit the force if I had to in order to get the job done. I would look at all the thousands of photos of every former soldier, sailor, coastguardsman, and marine in San Francisco. And if he wasn’t living in San Francisco, I’d keep looking at photos until I found him, if it was the last thing I ever did.

So, even though there has been absolutely zero proof of any sort of military record for WCF, Lindsay is apparently completely convinced that he’s a retired soldier of some sort.  (Coast Guard?  Really?)  Her utter conviction is a little disturbing to me, actually – the idea that she’s willing to quit her job and hassle every member of the military community in San Francisco in order to maybe catch this guy…  I don’t get it.  But it’s not for me to get, I guess.  Just shut up and read!

Lindsay heads to the long term parking lot that she’s been directed to by her ear-bud buddy, where she presents her ticket stub and is given access to the matching green Chevy Impala left there by WCF.  Inside on the back seat is a “Pelican gun case”.  What is this, you ask?

Pelican is known for its protective cases. They are lined with foam, have unbreakable locks, and can withstand anything fire or water or an explosive blast can throw at them.

Today’s post has been brought to you by Pelican gun cases. “Yes, we’re a real company that makes huge, scary gun cases!”

“I’m James Patterson and I approve this message.”

Following instructions, Lindsay puts all the money into the Pelican case – angrily, since she’s “helping a psycho get away with holding up a city.”  Then, WCF tells “princess” to put the old case under the car next to the Impala, just in case there’s a tracking device in it.  Oh yeah, one other thing:

“And take off your shoes,” the killer said. “Slide them under the car with the case.”

Huh?

“Feel like going for a ride?” my constant companion saked me.

“I’d love to,” I said with false brightness.

“I’d love to, what?” said WCF.

“I’d love to, sir,” I answered.

There’s a lot more going on here than I’m prepared to deal with, false brightness aside.  That’s enough for today. 
Go to Day 63.

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3 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Sixty-Two

  1. Jen
    June 29, 2010

    I loved this when you started, and have been a faithful reader. But even your excellent banter and wittiness cannot save this story. I'm sorry, I'm abandoning you to your own personal hell. Life is too short to be stuck on this dross…
    Hope you survive!

  2. aaryn b.
    June 30, 2010

    Thank you, sir, may I have another?
    Thank you, sir, may I have another?
    (I am not leaving you.
    Thank you, sir, may I have another?

  3. Nate
    July 13, 2010

    Shoes? Sounds like Patterson not only digs lesbians but has a foot fetish.

    Man, this is some dire shit, I'm with Jen on that one. But since I choke down two weeks' worth of entries at a time, I can handle it. You do have my sympathies, though.

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This entry was posted on June 29, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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