The Book Catapult

117 Days of James Patterson – Day Sixty-Three

Day 63, Chapter 63

“Welcome to the mystery tour,” the killer told me.

Let’s rock this bitch.

Thanks for all the encouragement yesterday, everybody, both online and in the real world – I really just needed a breather from the JPatt ocean I’m drowning myself in.  There is no quit in me, have no fear.  Even though one reader felt the need to tell me she was “abandoning me to my own personal hell,” I’m keeping my frickin’ chin up and I’m ready to rock this bitch.

So Lindsay is still driving around the city in the stolen Impala, wearing a cellphone around her neck so WCF can see what’s happening around her through the phone’s camera.  (Although, how a cellphone would be able to broadcast a live video feed is beyond me.  Technological advancements available only to billionaire bestselling authors, I suppose.)  The single police officer that had been following Lindsay from the beginning of this farce has long ago been ditched on the subway.  I ask you, if the police are planning to trap a murderer in a ransom bait-and-switch deal, do you only put one dude on the money?  Don’t you have, like 50 undercover agents watching from every angle?  Nope.  Even Lindsay realizes that their plan was pretty stupid.

Since our genius “follow the money” plan had been canceled by the killer, my brain was on overdrive…

Her drive takes her through the Tenderloin district – an area Lindsay reminisces about as she passes through.  She begins to space out a little, thinking about:

  • “the hole-in-the-wall bars”
  • “the girlie shows and rent-by-the-hour hotels”
  • how she and Jacobi were shot in nearby alley
  • a pizza place she took Joe to once
  • Mel’s Drive-in, where she and Claire used to hang out – “laughing away our frustration at being females in a man’s world.” 

I felt tears gathering in my eyes, not from the hoops the killer was making me jump through but from the nostalgia, the aching memories of times with my good and beloved friends, and from the feeling that I was visiting streets from my past for the last time.

Remembering being a strong woman in a “man’s world” makes her cry.  Interesting.  Try the end of this chapter on for size if you think that’s bad.  At a stoplight, WCF has Lindsay take the phone off and hang it around the rearview mirror, facing her. 

“Take off your blouse, sweetmeat.”

Yeah, this is going there.  She thinks he’s checking to see if she’s wearing a wire.  Hang on, everyone.

I took off my blouse.

“Throw it out the window.”

I complied. Not one of the skeezy pedestrians looked up.

“Do the same with your skirt.”

“The light is green.”

“Pull over and park. That’s a smart girl,” the killer said. “Take off that skirt and toss it. And now your bra.”

I felt sick, but I had no options. I unhooked my bra and dropped it out the window as directed. The killer whistled, a wolf call of appreciation, that sicko, and every part of my psyche hurt from the degradation. Not the least of which was that this murdering, child-killing woman hater had boxed me in and outmaneuvered the entire SFPD.

Right.  You’re sitting topless and wearing only your underpants in a Chevy Impala and you’re upset over your job success rate? 

“Good girl, Lindsay. Very, very good. Now, hang the phone around your neck and let’s get going. The best is yet to come.”

Go to Day 64. 

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6 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Sixty-Three

  1. aaryn b.
    July 1, 2010

    Why'd you have to make me look at that greasy hang-dog first thing in the morning? WHY? Maybe you should have taken another day off.

  2. aaryn b.
    July 1, 2010

    And P.S. In case the image of him wasn't enough, this storyline confirms that James Patterson is disgusting. Seriously. I read “Kiss The Girls” and “Along Came A Spider” and this is not either of those books. How can anyone defend this shit?

  3. Amy
    July 1, 2010

    Ugh. The book was bad enough already but it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse. First of all, driving through a city topless, someone is going to notice. Second, yeah, how does a camera stay on video like that? Third, absolutely ridiculous that they would only have one person tailing her. Like really though.

  4. Seth Marko
    July 1, 2010

    Aaryn, I HAVE to add pictures of said “greasy hang-dog” when there's nudity and borderline porn happening. If I have to read it, you have to look at him, that's the deal.

    And wait a minute, back that train up: you've actually read TWO JPatt novels???!!! Who are you? I feel I don't even know you anymore!

    Was the first book so good, you went back for seconds? Look at how skeevy he is!

    But seriously, I will never feel the same about you. Wait, are you an infiltrator from the jamespatterson.com forums? Narc!

    And Amy, first of all, thanks for reading so faithfully every day & taking the time to comment! I love that you're disturbed by the simple fact that someone will notice Lindsay driving around topless. The whole scene is so utterly absurd, yet you're taking the practical approach here. Hilarious!

  5. Nate
    July 13, 2010

    Funny how my exact comment today was going to be “Somehow the author photos are the absolute worst part of this sashay into hell” and someone else actually brought it up, too. The guy looks like a badly beaten Basset hound (I'm not going to backspace over that and “clever it up” either, because Patterson deserves ham-handed alliteration).

  6. Reggie Style
    July 19, 2010

    They really can pack a lot of features into those pre-paid mobile phones these days. Of course, it is the size of a bar of soap. Speaking of soap, we are all going to need a bar of it when this is over.

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This entry was posted on July 1, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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