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117 Days of James Patterson – Day Eighty

Day 80, Chapter 80

Sarah panned her light over the antique furnishings and cabbage-rose wallpaper, then hit the dresser with her beam. She was ready to go through the drawers when she saw a dark figure with a light. “Jeez! Who?” she squealed, then realized that it was her own reflection in the mirror.

Sarah, get a grip.

She flicked her beam back around the room and picked up a dull gold gleam on top of the vanity. She moved closer and saw a mass of jewelry, just tons of it, lying on the warm cherrywood surface. 

Suspicious?  No.  It’s perfectly normal for a wealthy socialite to leave a huge pile of jewelry on their bedroom dresser, especially if there’s been a rash of home break-ins in their neighborhood.  Hell, why not leave the window unlocked, right?  Who’s gonna climb up there and steal your pile of gold?  A cat burglar?  Just have your party downstairs and nothing will happen.  If I were Sarah, I would have no concerns whatsoever.  Perfectly normal.  You can see how confident she is after sweeping the pile of gold into her bag:

  • She’d made a first-class score in just over three minutes. A record, her personal best…
  • Feeling almost giddy…
  • She’d pulled it off.
  • She was outta there.
Almost as soon as she climbs through the window and hits the street, she hears police sirens and sees a cop car turn the corner ahead of her.  Huh. Didn’t see that one coming.

The rest of this chapter is of Sarah running – stashing her bag o’ jewels in someone’s basement window well, ditching her work tools in the trash, taking off her hat & gloves.  She gets cornered by a cop pretty early and ducks behind a hedge.  But hey, this is the SFPD of James Patterson, so it’s not like this cop’s going to catch her.  She waits for a few minutes, hiding behind a bush until the cop moves on.  

You know what? This little, easily missed scene is starting to bother me now.  She’s running away and a cop yells out, “Stop! This is the police.”  She’s already thrown away her headlamp, so she can’t see in the dark very well, so she just ducks down.  How did the cop not see her do this?  I’m assuming that they had some sort of visual on her when they called out, yet she manages to completely disappear without even moving, really.  God, this book is so stupid!

She then runs through a yard and loses a shoe when she falls down.  “Artie, I think someone’s out there!”  She jumps the fence & pulls off her black sweater, revealing her awesome camouflage.

She pulled the hem of her neon-green T-shirt out of her pants as she came out of the shadows onto a street she didn’t know.

Feeling nauseous and desperate, Sarah stripped off her other shoe and her socks and left them in a trash can at the edge of a driveway…

Then – and this is where it gets really funny – she realizes that her car keys were in her bag of tools that she tossed in a dumpster and her wallet is locked in the car.  Hahaha!  Good luck!
Go to Day 81

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5 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Eighty

  1. arevanye
    July 18, 2010

    God, this book is so stupid!

    Heh, heh, Seth, I'm thinking that God had nothing to do with the amount of stupidity in this book.

    Keep up the good work!

  2. aaryn b.
    July 19, 2010

    Why is she sweatain' the small stuff? She lost her shoes and had to go barefoot. It's not like she had to drive all over SF with her boobies out. As for the keys, whatevs. All she has to do is break into her car and steal her wallet. How hard would that be for a cat burglar?

  3. egypt-panorama.com
    July 20, 2010

    Heh, heh, Seth, I'm thinking that God had nothing to do with the amount of stupidity in this book.

  4. Nate
    August 5, 2010

    Does this fuckin guy have any idea how real life operates?

  5. Bookjunk
    October 11, 2015

    This reminds me so much of the TV show The Following, wherein criminals also just have to run away and hide and the cops will just give up.

    'Well, she was right there, but then she ducked into the bushes. Better call it a day.'

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This entry was posted on July 18, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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