The Book Catapult

117 Days of James Patterson – Day Eighty-Eight

Day 88, Chapter 88
What happens when we get this thing up to 88?  Does it blast off into the future, where people are all too stupid to read books anymore because previous generations read crap like James Patterson?  Sorry – that was uncalled for and a total comedic stretch.  Please continue. 

Lindsay, Conklin, Special Agent Benbow, and at least three other cop-types crowd up on Daniel Kennedy, potential witness to the latest murders by Lipstick Gordon.

We were standing so close we were pretty much sucking up his air, but he seemed glad for the attention. Kennedy said that he was a crime buff and had read everything on the Lipstick Killer. He told us that he was the owner of U-Tel, a telephone shop at Pier 39, and then he got into his story.

“A white guy in his early thirties came into my store,” Kennedy said, “and right away, I thought he was wrong.”

Good enough for me, let’s go lock ’em up!  Oh, sorry, you want to hear Kennedy’s reasoning?

“He goes over to the rack of prepaid phones, picks one with a camera and a two-gig chip. Cheap prepaids fly off the shelves, but expensive phones? Who throws away an expensive phone? Anyway, this guy knows what he wants.”

Blue hat! Blue hat! Call 9-1-1!

So, because this guy picks up a more expensive prepaid phone, you think he’s suspicious?  Not only that, but Kennedy suspects him to be the Lipstick Killer because he’s wearing a blue hat, so after the sale’s complete, he leaves the store to follow the guy.  I’m sorry, JPatt, but that would NEVER HAPPEN.  EVER.  Of course, it turns out that this guy was probably Pete Gordon, who went on to kill three people down the street and Kennedy was right to follow him.  Like I said yesterday, this is the sort of plot device that is really starting to wear thin on me: a character has a baseless hunch about something and they are always, completely, unequivocally correct about it.  It makes me want to knock somebody’s teeth out.

So Kennedy follows this suspicious character for long enough to see him talking to a “pretty African American woman,” before he is called back to the store.  Luckily, he recorded the whole transaction with Mr. Suspicious on “high-quality digital media” so he can give that to the cops.

“Was he wearing gloves?”

“No,” said Kennedy. “No, he wasn’t.”

“How’d he pay for the phone?” Conklin asked.

“Cash,” Kennedy said. “I gave him change.”

“Let’s open your register,” I said.

So the print lab is going to lift reliable fingerprints off a bill of currency?  I suppose that’s proof enough, provided this suspicious character was the only person to ever touch that money.  That’s possible, right?  Besides, whoever’s prints are on that bill has GOT to be the killer.  I mean, I have a hunch – does that count? 

Ah, the hell with it.  See you tomorrow.
Go to Day 89

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4 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day Eighty-Eight

  1. arevanye
    July 26, 2010

    Not only that, but Kennedy suspects him to be the Lipstick Killer because he's wearing a blue hat, so after the sale's complete, he leaves the store to follow the guy.

    *stuffs husband's hats into a trash bag and heads for the dumpster*

    Nothin' to see here folks, just doing a little housecleaning…

  2. amckiereads
    July 26, 2010

    What's with the blue hat? I don't remember that before, and seriously, these suspicious and conclusions that people stupidly draw and that turn out to be true is reaaally getting annoying!

  3. Seth Marko
    July 27, 2010

    You know something, Amy, you're right – I didn't notice it at first, because I thought I had read something about a baseball hat before, but it turns out, the color was never mentioned. (This was way back in Chapter 35.) The killer was described as wearing a “blue-and-white baseball jacket and a cap.” Lazy, lazy JPatt. For shame.

  4. Nate
    August 8, 2010

    He doesn't even try to come up with anything remotely associated with reality.

    And you know what? After I've killed myself writing two novels in six years*, seeing this chump rake it in for tossed-off shit like this is beyond agonizing. I just really can't hate Patterson enough, no matter how hard I try.

    (* I'm not yet published)

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This entry was posted on July 26, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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