Day 90, Chapter 90
Ninety days. At the beginning of this thing, in April, 90 days seemed like a total abstract – “Right, like I’ll still be doing this on July 28th.” Is my probationary period over now that I’ve completed my 90 days? Do I get a performance review and a raise? Lindsay Lohan just received a 90-day jail sentence – trust me, Lindsay, it’s not that bad. I feel like I deserve a 90 day chip from my sponsor, except I don’t have sponsor and this thing hasn’t exactly kept me from drinking. I found out that you can also read the bible in 90 days, if you’re so inclined, according to www.biblein90days.org.
Chapter Ninety also heralds the return to the page of Dr. Claire Washburn, medical examiner and Girlfriend #1 for Lindsay Boxer. Heidi and Sarah are watching a news report covering the latest Lipstick murders on the TV in the teachers’ lounge at their school. Claire is seen trying to drive her SUV through a crowd of onlookers at the Pier 39 crime scene.
She blew a hole through the crowd with her horn…
The vehicle’s egress was blocked by a crowd of onlookers made up of looky-loos, reporters, and the police, who had sealed off the entrance to the garage. A video camera focused on Kathryn Winstead of Crime TV as she shouted to Dr. Washburn, “How many people were shot? Was it another mother and child? Were the shootings done by the same killer?”
“Move aside. I’m not joking. Step back from the vehicle!” Dr. Washburn shouted back.
“Recently you told women to carry guns,” Winstead continued. “The public needs to know.”
“I meant what I said,” Washburn answered, then blew a hole through the crowd with her horn and pulled out onto the street.
Just in case you’ve forgotten, Kathryn Winstead is “Crime TV’s most appealing reporter,” according to JPatt in Chapter 71. At Winstead’s prompting, Crime TV then cuts to the video surveillance from the U-Tel phone store of the dude buying a prepaid phone and Heidi finally realizes just who she is married to.
Heidi’s mouth dropped open as she watched her husband buying a cell phone.
But there was a mistake. Pete wasn’t the Lipstick Killer.
How could he be?
Need I remind everyone that this piece of “evidence” proves nothing except that Pete Gordon bought a prepaid cell phone? Good luck in court with that one. Thankfully, I’m sure that once Pete gets wind that his picture is on the television and people (including his wife) think he’s the killer, he will either 1) publicly expose himself as the killer or 2) he will conveniently snap and do something to either get himself killed by the police or 3) he will confess in a psychotic rage, maybe also leading to his death. I take back what I said about JPatt yesterday – maybe he has seen thousands of cop dramas on TV before.
Heidi, with helpful prodding from Sarah, begins to piece together that Pete might actually be the Lipstick Killer. Sarah’s evidence:
“He’s mean. He’s abusive. He treats you and the kids…look, where does Pete go when he says he wants to be ‘anywhere but here’ and disappears for hours? Do you know?”
“God. You’re serious.” Heidi looked into Sarah’s resolute face, then her knees buckled. Sarah steadied her and said, “Heidi, Heidi, are you all right?”
Sarah’s got to be pretty stoked that her lesbian lover’s husband is a murderer. Easy way out of that marriage, eh? Heidi begins to panic at the end here – understandably so, I suppose – but the final piece of dialogue to Chapter 90 struck me as pretty funny, if anything just for the panicky element.
“What if this is true? What am I going to do?”
“Where are the kids?”
“Sherry’s in school. Stevie’s at day care – unless, oh God. What time is it? Pete picked Stevie up. I’ve got to call the police. Where’s my bag? I need my phone. I’ve got to call the police now.”