Day 100, Chapter 100
To celebrate today’s milestone, I have decided to bring in a guest blogger to take a long, hard, erotically-charged look at Chapter 100. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. James Patterson*.
|This is the introspective me.|
Thank you. Thank you, everyone. And thank you, Sean, for this opportunity to discuss the literary merits of my work on your little interweb site. As you know, my book Kiss the Girls was just voted to be the #3 thriller of all-time by NPR listeners. Wait a minute – number three? How the fuck did it slip that low? Why wasn’t I told about this? That fat sack Thomas Harris only has 13,807 fans on his Facebook page – I have 588,000 – and Stieg Larsson is frickin’ dead! You don’t get a frickin’ Facebook page if you’re dead! I’ve sold over 170 million goddamn copies of my super-thrilling novels, so how could I be anything less than #1? Bullshit. Well, anyway, Sean from the Book Cartwheel wants me to give an overview of the pivotal 100th chapter in one of my latest thrilling novels, The 9th Judgment. (Available wherever books are sold.)
Lindsay Boxer is the hardest working detective in the San Francisco Police Department – as evidenced by her harrowing ordeal at the hands of the Lipstick Killer. True, she may be having some trouble locking down evidence in the Casey Dowling murder case, but she is perilously close to catching Pete Gordon and stopping him from murdering more innocent women and children. All it’s going to take is one more little slip-up and Lindsay will be there to nail his ass to the wall, I guarantee it. So the hardest working cop in town also deserves a little downtime – and there’s nothing that I love writing more than scenes of Lindsay unwinding and just letting go a little bit. Showing her soft, vulnerable feminine side, you know? Even tough-as-nails cops are sexual creatures. Here’s how I started Chapter 100:
The curtains in our bedroom were stirring with a light breeze coming in through the cracked-open window. Joe had cooked for us, bathed us, admired my “perfect bottom,” and wrapped me in terry cloth.
I feel that this really sets the scene here – the light breeze ruffling the curtains, Lindsay wrapped in a bathrobe, a glimpse of her amazing body – you know where things are headed, but I’m gently leading you towards that endgame, drawing it out, making it last. Sometimes I wish I didn’t make these chapters so short – I could let this one go on for pages and pages and pages.
Now Joe is attending to Lindsay’s every need – she has had a hard few weeks fighting crime and has been ordered to stay home and relax for a few days. Don’t worry, the Lipstick Killer will still be out there when she gets back from her R&R. Joe doesn’t let her move an inch as she lies on the bed admiring him, “huge and gorgeous in the soft light coming from the desk lamp and the streetlight outside.” See what I did there? “Huge and gorgeous” could mean several things… I’ll let you do the imagining! Isn’t fiction great?
Lindsay tries to take her robe off after gazing amorously at Joe, but he won’t let her. Not yet. He lies down next to her on the bed. Can you feel that energy?
He turned onto his side and kissed my neck, a certain way he has of getting me from zero to sixty. I reached up to put my arms around his neck, and he put them back down. “Lie still.”
He undid my robe and shifted me – and then we were both naked under the covers.
Build that energy – feel the sexual tension in the room. But see, with Lindsay and Joe, it’s not all about their sexual chemistry – they really love each other, which is pretty cool.
We lay entwined, facing each other, my leg hooked over Joe’s hip, his arms wrapped entirely around me, my cheek in the hollow of his neck. I felt safe and very loved and had a sense of wonder that after all the ups and downs we’d weathered, we’d arrived at this wonderful state.
See? Here I drop a bit in about Lindsay’s feelings toward Joe – she normally puts up such a rock hard exterior, being such a tough cop, that we never get to see her softer side. Even the tough chicks have feelings deep down inside. Ladies, am I wrong? And just when I lead you into thinking about this, I ratchet that sexual energy right back up. Check this out:
Joe gathered my hair and twisted it around in his hand, then kissed my throat. He reached around me and pulled me closer. I made a small adjustment with my hips so that he could enter me. For a moment, I forgot to inhale. I was at the edge of a precipice, and I didn’t want to stop.
|Me at home, hard at work.|
What is that “precipice,” you ask? Is the passion she feels for Joe pushing her toward a beautiful, earth-shattering climax? Or is there something else? Something more…maternal? Oh, there are things going on here that you can only imagine, reader! What wonderful places will I be taking you in the next book?!
Joe stops just as they get started and reaches for a little protection from the bedside table. “I’m just getting dressed here,” he tells Lindsay. But she stops him. That’s right. Her love is so overwhelmingly powerful right now that she wants all of Joe, no exceptions, no precautions. Just his raw, unguarded love, if you know what I mean. I really tried to work a “reverse cowgirl” in here, but Maxine talked me out of it. Here’s the incredible closing sequence – the climax, if you will:
Joe kissed me deeply and, while holding me tight, rolled us both so that I was lying on top of him. I raised myself up and folded my knees along his sides, placed my hands on his chest, and looked into his face. I saw the light in his eyes – his love for me. He put his hands on my hips, and, with our eyes wide open, we rocked slowly, slowly, no hurry, no worry.
There was no place I’d rather be.
No one I’d rather be with than Joe.
That’s it? Man, that was short, wasn’t it? Was that ending a little abrupt to you? Not much happens there, huh? Oh well, there’s always Chapter 101, right? Hey, and thanks, everybody. This has been fun! I hope I was able to offer you a little insight into the softer sexual side of Detective Lindsay Boxer. Don’t forget, in stores now: my new thriller Private (also with Maxine Paetro), the latest in my series for young people, Daniel X: Demons & Druids, as well as various reissues and paperback releases. Coming August 16th, The Postcard Killers (written with the #1 Bestselling author in Europe, Liza Marklund) and on September 27th, Don’t Blink (with Howard Roughan).
*Please note: James Patterson has had nothing to do with me or the Book Catapult. This whole post has been a farce, in case you couldn’t tell.
Go to Day 101