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117 Days of James Patterson – Day 101

Day 101, Chapter 101
Counting this one, there are just 17 chapters and 52 pages remaining.  “For a moment, I forgot to inhale. I was at the edge of a precipice, and I didn’t want to stop.

Lindsay is back at “work” today – how much time has elapsed since her vacation is unclear, but let’s be honest: nobody cares. A package addressed to her shows up at security downstairs in the lobby of the Hall of Justice.  Not a sketchy package, it’s just a nylon laptop case wrapped in “many yards of clear packing tape.”  Perfectly normal.  She calls the bomb squad and evacuates the building.

Please let this happen.

Conklin and Chi (where you been, Chi?!) come outside with her and watch the bomb squad robot and its human “Hurt Locker” partner slowly head inside the Hall.  Boring.  They agree, so they go over to the local cop bar, MacBain’s.  The rest of San Francisco’s law enforcement community is in there getting trashed, waiting for their office to explode.

I had my hand in the Beer Nuts when my phone rang.

Did you know that Beer Nuts is actually the name of the company that manufactures all the beer nuts?  I was all set to make fun of JPatt for capitalizing “Beer Nuts,” when I learned this incredibly valuable fact.  Here I thought “beer nuts” was just what you called those sugary peanuts you never eat in a bar – it never occurred to me that it was the name of an actual company.  Finally, James does his research! 

Considering how much potential tension there is in a bomb scare scene like today’s, there is virtually none in Chapter 101.  The cops are bored, the reader is bored, I suspect that Maxine Paetro is pretty goddamned bored by this point.  Lindsay eventually gets a call from Lieutenant Bill Berry from the bomb squad, who has an unnecessarily mocking tone in his voice: 

“Your so-called bomb has been rendered safe.”

C’mon, dude, just a few days ago, a huge explosion – aimed primarily at Lindsay – just rocked the shit out of like a dozen cops.  Shouldn’t you all be a little concerned that this package might have been sent from the same at-large mass murderer who detonated the first bombs?  Don’t be a dick about it.

I walked with Conklin and Chi to the bomb truck, which was now parked in the lot behind the Hall. I knocked on the door of the van, and when it opened, I took the case from Lieutenant Berry’s hand.

“So, what is it?” I asked him.

“Christmas in September,” he said. “I think you’re going to like it.”

Great.  After all that, we have to wait until tomorrow.  There is NO WAY this needed to be a separate chapter from whatever tripe will follow in #102.  God, I am so sick of this.
Go to Day 102

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3 comments on “117 Days of James Patterson – Day 101

  1. Anonymous
    August 8, 2010

    17 Chapters? well…don't give up now. You know, you “could” just give us a summary of the remainder of the book and no one would complain lol

  2. Seth Marko
    August 8, 2010

    Why does everyone think I'm going to give up?! At this point, I've ruined all credibility I might have ever had as a serious book reviewer, so I might as well just see this through to the end. Hell, I've written 101 frickin' posts about James Patterson, what's 16 more going to do to me?

  3. Ilyanna
    August 8, 2010

    hang in there. You're almost free. . .

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This entry was posted on August 8, 2010 by in 117 Days of James Patterson.
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